By Hada Sainz Ruiz

My name is Hada Sainz Ruiz. I live in Tijuana, Mexico and am a Mexican citizen. It is a privilege for me to talk to you a little bit about the beautiful work that God has done and has continued to do in my life since my husband’s death in 2014 at the age of 47.

The gospel came into my life when I was about 9 years old when a preacher came to my town in Sinaloa, Mexico. Salvation reached my family when God, in His infinite mercy, promised that a missionary would come to teach us. There, for the first time, I heard the missionary work of bringing the gospel to others as God shaped my life for his purpose.

Due to family circumstances, my parents decided to move to and live in Tijuana, BC, so we left Sinaloa.  It was not easy to experience something new and unknown, but God had everything under his control. When we arrived, my mother sought for a church to attend, and God led her to the mission of Brother Pizano. There I was able to serve by teaching children and going out to testify.  It was something I enjoyed a lot because the city was surrounded by hills.  I remember visiting the city situated in a canyon where travel was difficult due to the lack of ppavement and abundance of mud. Whenever it rained, it was especially difficult to enter.  However, despite the location, God saved many people over time, and we were able to establish a church.

In 1990, we arrived at our church, Open Door Baptist Church.  God led us there, and I met a special young man who would become my husband.  Humberto and I united our lives in 1993 and began serving the Lord together. We started a mission in the city of Tijuana, and for five years we worked to carry out the gospel.  By the grace of God, a church was established and our first girl Merary was born. God led my husband’s heart to take the gospel elsewhere, so he traveled to Baja California Sur where he saw many people lost without God and no churches. Therefore, in 1999, we went to Ciudad Constitucion, BCS, without knowing how it was and what awaited us.  We went forward knowing and trusting our God.  It brought to my mind the way Abraham came out to an unknown land.  It was in this mission that our second son Angel Nathanael was born. We worked in this mission for nine years.  After nine years, leaving this beautiful church was painful, but our Lord had other plans for us.

In 2009, we returned to Tijuana. We were going through difficult times in both our individual and married lives, and the pastor advised us to take some time to rest. My husband was struggling a lot in his personal life with hurtful temptations, and I was praying fervently for God to bring him to repentance and to reveal His will for his life. However, he refused to come back to God. In 2014, after many afflictions, struggles, discouragement, and time away from God and from our family, my husband died suddenly of a heart attack.   

Humberto was in another city when I was notified. It was horrible, painful, and disconcerting. I said to God, “I had prayed and begged You for him; why did You take him from me? Why have You left me alone?”  I loved him. I saw my children, cry and suffer. They loved their father, and I cried out to God, “What I’m going to do?”  I looked at my future, so uncertain, confused, and hopeless.

The loss of my husband left me with such deep pain and a void that neither prayer nor reading the Word comforted me. I watched such happy couples who lived in worse sins and did not know God. They were together, but I no longer had my husband. In my heart I told God, “God we were serving You together. We worked for You, and this is how You treated me?”  My anger and resentment was great so I began to fight with God.  For several months I cried.  I couldn’t sleep well.  I was trying to find answers to my pain because I imagined God did that to me.  I also had to take care of my children.  My daughter was 20 years old and my son was 13.  They needed me, but I couldn’t even take care of myself because I was thinking only of my own pain. 

One night after two months of suffering and fighting with God, I grew tired of the situation. I got down on my knees next to my bed, crying without being able to speak, with only two thoughts.  One was that I would leave God and His way and live my own way.  I believed the lie that it is not worth serving Him because I had been left alone.  On the other hand, although I did not understand why it happened and what God was doing, I thought about holding on to his promises.  I decided I will trust Him.  It was an important life-changing decision, and with a broken heart, I surrendered to God.  I prayed to Him and said, “Lord, I do not understand why, but I only throw myself into Your arms, leaving my life in Your hands.”  I don’t know how to explain to you the peace that came into my life at that moment.  My eternal Father took me in His hands and filled my heart with comfort.

My God is shaping my life for his purpose. I went to talk to my pastor and I said to him, “Pastor, I want to return to my God.  Is there a place for me to serve as a widow?  I am happy serving.  That’s the only thing I can do.” Pastor said, “Let us pray, and God will show you what to do.”  That’s what I did.  Sisters, let me tell you that God soon answered.  After two days had passed, the pastor call me and said, “Hada, can you come to the office?  I have something to tell you.”  

When I arrived at the church, our pastor told me that the church family wanted to take me on as a missionary and wanted to support me financially.  I was overjoyed!  God is wonderful!  What an amazing way of working! However, I still had to wait to see where God wanted to use me.  A short time later, a sister asked me to go with her to a rehabilitation center in Tijuana because she had a friend struggling with addiction.  It was the first time I visited this kind of place, but God gave me a love and a burden for the people.  I discussed this with our pastor and the pastor agreed this would be a good place for me to serve. That’s how I started working in this ministry that is now called “Open Hands.” I work in four different centers, providing Bible studies and caring for individual needs. One center is for teens, one for women and the other two for children. We work with the foster children in the shelters who were taken by the government to those places because their parents abused them or left them for their addictions. It has been a blessing to see workers, as well as the residents coming to receive the Lord as their Savior and come to church.

When I first began to think about this ministry I told my Lord, “I will serve You with all my heart.  I don’t have a car, nor a lot of money, but that will not prevent me from serving You.”  Now, when I see women and children accept Christ and have hope to change it is the most beautiful reward.  To this day, I am still able to continue to bring them the gospel, as well as food, clothing, or anything they need. There is so much to do, and God continues to work every day. My desire is to do the will of God. I am being asked to help more groups, but I have limited time and ability. My heart longs to do more and is my prayer.

Sisters, you have gone through this pain of losing your husbands.  God wants to do something beautiful in your life. He has a perfect plan in your loss. I was not able to see what was ahead for my children and me by trusting God.  Now I can see.  Now I can understand that even if I don’t have my husband, I can still serve and do something for God. My son is now in Bible college and my daughter is working and doing well. I have a full and meaningful life even though I am alone as a widow.  By His love and grace, I want to use all my strength with all my heart by giving my life to His service. God has a place for you, too.  Hold on!  Grasp his promises!  Believe God!  He knows what He is doing. Allow God to work!  I hope this testimony can be a blessing and help for you. 

In the love of Christ, 

Hada Sainz